I’ll admit I used to pretend to fall

asleep, body pressed against your warmth and

cheek pressed against the

confident heartbeat

keeping time beneath your skin.

And I used to imagine that the ticking of your heart was solely

for the purpose of measuring

how long I had been yours and you had been mine.

And I used to wait and expect your lips

to shyly greet my eyelids

because I expected you to fall in love with my

face as I dreamt.

But now I realize (too late of course) that

“expect” is a terrible word.

I want to fall asleep each night,

my body sinking into your warmth and my ears tickled 

by the tick and tock

of your gentle heart.

I want each skip of my hummingbird heart to be

solely for the purpose of measuring how long I have been yours

and you have been mine.

I want to touch your toes with mine

I want to kiss your lips with mine

I want to dream of you each night

and love you more each morning