I can’t sleep without my dog because I’m scared of letting my defenses down
to be vulnerable for a few hours.
Even with my dog there, that doesn’t stop the nightmares of what happened 375 days ago.
I can’t walk around a corner, whether it’s at school, work, or the mall without of fear of seeing his face.
I’m unable to wear or concentrate around plaid
without flashbacks of his hands holding me down, 375 days ago.
When anxiety attacks
I can’t breathe or be brought back to reality.
One, Two, Three
Three, Two, One.
I count to calm myself down.
I haven’t had a day without fear in 375 days.
375 days without justice,
375 days of watching my assailant walking freely throughout my town.
All because 375 days ago I went to a sleepover at his girlfriend’s.