Do not text him first
You know that there is a fine line in fate that has a crack where you two should be connected
And you may be close enough to feel his love radiate
But know that his heart cannot beat for you
Because when you sit in bed beaming at night that he kissed your hand and spun you around like you two were actors in a Nicholas Sparks movie
Remember: you are not the end game
Rather a scrimmage on the side
The first pitch in baseball
Baby you don’t count: you aren’t even part of the score
Do not put on extra makeup when you see him
Because fate sees through the mask
It sees you trying to make those eyes bolder; that skin heavenlier; those cheekbones more prominent
But it recognizes the girl it threw a bone to
Not giving her any meat to dive into
She is left starving
She is the drunken one night stand resulting in a stick from CVS; the two second divert from the road upping your monthly car payment;
She is a mistake; a burden on his heart
Do not put perfume on when you know you’re going to run into him
You’ve done enough seducing him with your imperfect smile and serenading him with that laugh that he somehow found a way to stand
He is trying to move on can’t you see, so just let him
He has received the hint, the memo from God
Saying sorry, there’s been a glitch in the system
Your love is no fantasy: this is not a Cinderella happy ending
You are not going to see him standing at the end of the aisle as the man you say I do to
You will never get to tell your kids that daddy was the first man you fell for
Instead you’ll tell your daughter when she’s old enough
About the day your heart broke for the first time
About the day that all the signs that once added up were suddenly subtracted
When it was time to move on
You’ll disguise the lingering longing that is the fact that you never recover from your first heartbreak
And say breaking it off was like alcohol on a fresh cut
But soon enough she’ll call you on your bull****
And she’ll ask “Ma, when does this stinging go away?”
And you’ll look your baby girl in the eye and say “I’m still waiting"