Afraid
By: Lexi Stesney

I hear laughs ring through my ears
Sudden burst of pain runs through my heart
I walk home, alone
The words run through my mind over and over again
I get home run to my room, climb my bed, blast my music, and cry
Afraid
That night I can't sleep so afraid to wake up
I go to school
Walk through those doors and again my wall comes up
No one knowing who I really am,
Only what I show
Afraid to be me,
I don't show my true colors
Wanting to be a little kid again
No one cared who you were, what you wore, or what you had
Then you grow up and everything matters
Some see who I am
Others think Otherwise
Everyone always tells me, "they are just jealous"
Jealous of what?
Or they tell me that it's not true
The more the words are said the more I believe them
My confidence fades
My heart feels likes its being torn out of my chest and broken into a million pieces
I get confused and lost
Sometimes I don't know who I am anymore
I help others
I tell them to be themselves and not to listen
Funny how that works
I help others with the same problem and yet I can't help myself
The feeling of worthlessness and that I am going to die alone
Not knowing who my true friends are or if I even have any
Afraid
Is all I am
Know one really knows my past
Some know who I really am
Afraid I don't let it show
I let others blame me
I take the heat,
Yet know one ever does for me
I stand there frozen in place like Ahna when Elsa froze her heart
I can't move because the words have over powered me
Then
Like ice smashing on the floor
I break free
A hand reaches out for me
I take it
I don't care where it leads, as long as it's out of here
The hand leads to a good person
A friend
Someone who cares
Asks if I'm okay and if I need a friend
Now I see what has become of me
Stronger, beautiful, happy, loved,
So much more
I don't need others to make me happy
I choose to be happy
I let the words roll off my shoulder like a boulder going down a hill
I am me a better person
Not an abstract painting
One with more meaning
I am not afraid anymore
I am me
Afraid is just what I say, but for me it's just like saying I can't
I can and I will