This one word can crush your heart,
This one word can make you feel worthless,
This one word can cause you to break,
This one word...
A 12 letter word...
It destroyed me...
When I came home after school that one day after the teacher called my mom,
My house looked like it had just been bombed… holes punched in the walls, Broken picture frames and glass cluttering the floor.
DISAPPOINTED.
When my Grandfather looked at my grades,
What he said just felt like blades
cutting me up from the inside-out.
DISAPPOINTED.
How can this word hurt more than a beating?
It hurts worse than jumping off a building and slamming on the concrete.
I never want hear this word ever again…
Because it makes me feel like I’m dying inside.
DISAPPOINTED.
I never want anyone to be disappointed in me.
It makes me feel like I can’t breathe.
Like I’m drowning in a sea.
A sea filled with my wrong actions.
Getting bigger every day,
Dark grey clouds hover in the sky,
There is no one around to save me,
Only I can save myself.
And when I start to swim toward shore.
DISAPPOINTED.
Right back where I started,
I feel like I’m being torn into two separate people.
The Alex I allow other people to see, and the Alex I keep hidden.
Once I do something right,
I can see the light.
But the light always dims.
Never to be seen again.
The darkness always comes.
I’m stuck here.
Stuck in being DISAPPOINTED.