What is happiness?

i ask myself every day
What is happiness
as i see my world as grey

happiness is
an emotion that can heal
happiness is
an emotion i cannot feel

how many more
have to commit suicide
how many more
before we turn the tide

school is
a daily fight
school is
not right

the bullies are
messing with someone’s head
the bullies are
secretly wishing they were dead

the victims are
playing it cool
the victims are
later watching their blood pool

the bystanders are
watching the pain being dealt
the bystanders are
wishing they had helped

the teachers are
telling kids to toughen up
the teachers are
giving up on us

I wish these people
wouldn't backstab me
I wish these people
would leave me be

the cig is
the thing that calms the pain
the cig is
the addiction that is here to stay

the blade is
the opener of skin
the blade is
the soother of pain deep within

sadness is
the feeling that inspired me to write
sadness is
something I've felt my whole life

I’m trying to
find an escape
I’m trying to
sit and wait

these things I’ve written are
things I’ve seen
these things I’ve written are
things I’ve been

sometimes I see
people who have a smile
sometimes I see
people who's emotions are high up a mile

I see them asking
the opposite question i do
I see them asking
what it feels like to feel blue

Maybe they’re good
at hiding the pain
maybe they’re good
at hiding the shame

I wish I could
be that way
I wish i could
seize the day