Too many thoughts,but too many words that I want to say that are going through my mind but, aren't coming out my mouth.
There's always time,but,there's never enough.
People I want be with but aren't here.
Too many lies but few truths.
Too many questions but no answers.
Pain but no happiness.
Things I want to do but won't be able to.
There's true love,but its in a book.
A rainbow I want to see but, a cloud is blocking my view.
A sun I want to feel warmth from but, the rain is falling,I am cold.
A light I want to see but, am struggling to understand.
These are the things I Stevi Degner think about.
They are things that I want and the things I don't.
I never really believed in true love.
I never found it to be real for me.
Is true love real in this place you call a world?
 If so,I'm too blind to see it.
A guy I want to talk to but never can find the words to say.
So, we just glance at each other from across the room.
Am I supposed to feel nervous? 
Am I just supposed to smile and walk away?
 or am I supposed to wave?
Is a he nice guy or is that just his cover to hide his true self?
 Am I supposed to feel relieved that he hasn't said a word to me?
 Do I exist?
 Does he see me?
 Does he just see a girl who had a trouble past but, seems to have a good life?
What am I supposed to feel?
 Is he a jerk?
 I honestly have heard things,but deep down I know that its not who he is.
He's a sweet guy( of what I've seen of him.) 
He is most caring about others,he has pain behind his eyes.
He's mostly serious.
A great smile,does he have trust issues?
Under pressure will he crack? 
A great sense of humor.
Firm hands.
He sometimes feels guilty.
He's complicated,I cannot figure him out.
I don't know what he wants. 
First day of school of last year.
The office.
The lunch table. 
An exchange of glances.
The first smile. 
The first laugh.
That is who he is.