As I lay silent
Headphones on
Music turned up as loud as it will go
The tears come streaming down my face
Memories flood my mind
Like a spring flood
I can’t shut them out
or ignore them
This was July 22nd, 2014
The look in my father’s eye
The way he leaned against my door frame
Something was wrong
As the words “Gram died” slid between his teeth
I slid from my bed
Curled up on my floor
Doubting words
Thinking I was dreaming
Must have been
She couldn’t be gone
The proof
Her body in the coffin
Baby blue shirt
Fingers locked in each other
Lips pressed tight together
Tears again fall
As I think back
Candies
Teddy Bears
Oven Mitts
As family crowds
I try to wipe the tears away
Because she would have called me silly
Don’t cry for me
She’d say
July 22nd, 2014
The day that left me
With a permanent hole in my heart
Never to be filled