What am I scared of?
I am scared of the dark
I am scared of heights
I am scared of being annoying
I am scared that people don’t like me
I am scared that people don’t care about me
I am scared that people shouldn’t care about me
I am scared that I am forgettable
I am scared that I am replaceable
I am scared that I am not worth replacing
I am scared that I will relapse
I am scared that I will take the whole bottle of pills
I am scared that I won’t
I am scared that if I do, nobody will care
I am scared that my depression will take over my life
I am scared that it already has
I am scared of being a failure
What am I most scared of?
I am scared that I am wrong
that I don’t have depression,
that I am just weaker than everyone else,
that I wasn’t made to be happy,
that I wasn’t made to live,
that I am not worth life,
I am not worth the therapy it will take to let me live,
I am not worth the food it will take to let me eat, 
I am not worth the air it will take to let me breathe,
I am not worth it.
I am scared that I am weak.
I am also scared that I am strong,
Strong enough to live this ridiculous excuse for a life for one more day.