The Touch of our Hands | Teen Ink

The Touch of our Hands

March 11, 2015
By ArminKitty BRONZE, Okley, California
ArminKitty BRONZE, Okley, California
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Do you still remember

Our world as innocent children?

It appears you don't

I clearly remember

Everything being wonderful

The warm touch of our hands

Curiosity at every corner

Where has it gone?

 

As much as I can remember

I wish you'd remember too

Wondering about everything

Curious how the world worked

It seems it was yesterday

When Santa and the Tooth Fairy

Weren't dead to us

 

The way you act

Uncaring to the little things

We loved as children

I wish I could remind you

Or somehow give the memories

Through the touch of our hands

 

I miss you

The way you were

Before being tarnished

By the things we know now

I'll never forget myself

I'll never forget you either



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This article has 1 comment.


on Mar. 12 2015 at 8:31 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

I wish this had less repetition. Sometimes you used words that could have been replaced with better ones. For example, try getting around the constant usage of the word 'Remember'. It's the focus of the poem, but when used often enough, it loses its lustre. I also think you should work on the flow- you have nice lines, but they could be improved by being choppier, creating a poetic feel rather than one of your typical letter.