You were always a fighter,
A believer,
A strong willed achiever,
A crazy wild trail weaver.
You used to whisper smooth songs that filtered into my heart,

Until it beat the beautiful tune.

And I knew you cared for me as much as I cared for you.

You are absolutely crazy.
The way you showed no fear and your eyes lit up with excitement.
I remember the first time I saw you drink and the way you lost yourself.
And the guard you always had up so strong came crumbling down.
And I knew for the first time that you were hurting.
The transparent outside that leaked the inside of you.
And I didn’t do a thing until it was too late.
When someone opaque shows their inner organs that are so torn apart it shakes you.
The next day everything was fine
And I nearly forgot that anything had ever been the matter
And I’m so sorry for that.
         That one night you disappeared,
Your beautiful face was gone in a sea of people and beer cans
And I wish I had been watching you instead of filling myself with The pleasure of people and my own adventure.
You were drowning yourself in the numbing liquid and I still cannot fathom why.
And when everyone wanted to leave,
And I pulled you up off the hard ground in the night,
And I knew you wanted something so bad but it was so far out of Your reach,
And you resisted,
And resisted,
And the sounds of your skull colliding into the asphalt
Will ring in my ears effortlessly with the slightest bit of recollection.
And the boys that tore you apart and treated you a piece of meat.
My strong belief is that you are so much more,
You are a world of your own.
And I'm so sorry you feel so alone.
I know your pain and the unhinging that made people so annoyed With you.
But that’s not you. You are my wild friend that is so effortlessly Beautiful,
And so brave
And I’m sorry that I couldn’t save you.