I am floating,

When I am not tied down to this miserable planet by someone's voice

Or my dark, dark thoughts

I am alone, alone a lot

When I am alone the dark thoughts seep in

They fill my mind with hatred and, well, darkness

And sometimes I don't know who I am

Who I want to be

And when I finally have an inkling of who I want to be

I am smothered,

By a blanket of my own creation

Because what I want doesn't matter

Not to me, or anyone else

I don't matter

And then I am drowning once again

Without a head to poke out of the water, because there is no water

I am simply drowning on life

Life's water is brown and filthy

It is used by many and never replaced

It just sits there, until someone comes along and bathes in it

And we are suppose to love it, love the filth

Love life

But I don't, and I wonder if I ever will

I would rather love the darkness

Where there is no love, so no one can hurt you

Where the only pain is physical, so that you can feel alive

Even though you aren't and you never will be

Again.