Your parents say bathing can’t kill you? They’d be dead wrong. Just ask Pliny the Elder. In 79 AD, he most likely wouldn’t have died had he not gotten fluffed and buffed, scrubbed and dried not once or twice but three times—you would think that seeing Mount Vesuvius upchucking in the distance would have scared him off just the tiniest bit, but no, he sailed towards the falling sky and straight into his own demise when he disembarked in Pompeii and partied the day away with his friends at the Roman baths! Somehow, they stayed alive until they left morning next—apparently the pillows tied on to their heads failed to protect against sulfur gas. His nephew later said he looked “more asleep than dead”—I guess, having showered, he had decided to go to bed.