For Emily,

Hello, this is cousin.

Without you,
my life would be empty, dull.

I wouldn’t have a comrade,
only ducks.
I wouldn’t have my halfway hipster,
only Dr. Shirtpants.

Without you,
Wayne’s World would be just a movie.
And Kokomo, just a song.

I wouldn’t have anybody to obsess with,
over all my favorite shows.

Without you, there would be nobody there to call me “jerk.”

Socks wouldn’t be funny.
The sentence “Hubert is a biblical man who sells six ladles.”
Wouldn’t make me reminisce.
And baby carrots flying across plates would have no effect.

I would have no partner in crime.

You’re not just my cousin or my classmate,
like Queen said, “You’re my best friend.”