I was young then
And I looked around
Thinking my family would be this way
Forever
But I was wrong

Lauren and I were cousins
Not just cousins
Best friends

Every time we would
Visit my aunt’s house for the holidays
Together

Then arguments arose
They never stopped

I listened to the yells in the house
Frightened by them
Yet I felt safe with Lauren
We were too young to understand the fights
What was happening to us?
And though we were from different sides of the battle
I knew her
I trusted her

I thought we would see each other again when I said goodbye
Lauren thought so too
Little did I know this was our final goodbye
We left on a promise
To do the same things every holiday
A promise
That I cannot fulfill

They tore us apart
Stole my best friend from me
Sides were chosen
Friends became enemies
Strangers
I do not know if they are aware what they did to me
But this is something I cannot forgive
Nor forget

I was not old enough for this to impact me greatly
I’ve attempted to fix this rift
Yet there has been no improvement

I remember when we were little
Every holiday
Spent with her
We would laugh together about everything
Steal cookies then hide
But under the table so we would not get in trouble
We would swim in the pool together
Pretend we were mermaids
Realized we were not and had to come up for air
We would do each other’s hair
Make up our own hairstyles
Then realized our hair was filled with knots
We would say our goodbyes
And could not wait for the next time we said hello

I won’t forget my memories of these things
Of her

I am older now
And I look around
Hoping my family will be reunited
Happy again
But who am I kidding?
I am wrong