It’s a boy!
His cheeks are rose petals.
and my body floods with
warmth.
I’ve never known a love
Quite like this.
It’s a girl!
And her tiny fingers clutch at my thumb
Like I am the only thing that matters
And I clutch her back.
It’s a girl!
She has golden hair
And a cry that I know
will keep me up all night
But I don’t mind.
It’s a boy!
He’s healthy
And strong
And everything a man
And woman
should be
It’s a girl.
She was a surprise.
well
I suppose it isn’t that much
of a surprise.
Another girl.
My heart, crowded with affection.
Like our two bedroom apartment.
And I only hope that this baby
Will grow up to make a difference.
God knows, some differences
Need to be made.
It’s a boy.
Boys eat a lot of food
And require constant attention.
Two things I cannot give.
It’s a girl.
Already at a disadvantage.
It’s a boy.
And I understand
That he is faultless.
He can’t help but be born.
But I find myself wishing
That he wasn’t
And I hate myself for that.
It’s a girl.

There is no one to blame
But myself
My lack of self-control
(often his)
And my body that adamantly fulfills its purpose
Even if the soul inside is
Begging
For it to stop.
It’s a boy.
And looking at his face,
I see the months to come.
I know I can’t do this anymore.
I won’t.