I try to speak, but I have rubber lips.
I want to speak, but I have ice        for a tongue.
Charisma dances, elusively, a difficult thing to possess.
Keeping a true spine, one that remains still in the face of scrutiny,
                                  strains the senses.

I found it strange, engulfed by love, that I was unable to speak.
Possessed not by a romantic love, but a companionate one,
I came to need you; I had to be with you.
My heart feels radioactive;
           the elasticity of its beating fades away as I think of you.
I want,
         I need,
                 I hate you so much for hurting me when I needed you the most.
I came to find you so beautiful but so sinister.
I did not suffer silently; I was brave.  I found my voice
But I lost my balance.

The dance over, I’m helpless.
I need you,
             you’re holding me back like a rope,
                       a noose tied around my neck, waiting for me to falter and slip and turn into dust.
I want,     I need,      I hate you,      and I must let go.

You broke me down, yet I want you.
         My heart feels static;
                 the elasticity of its beating
                           fades
                                 away
                                       as I think of you.
                                                             I need you back.