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Death Bed.
November 13, 2014
When the waves crash together,
creating bad stormy weather,
turning everything blue,
leaving me without a clue.
I can't stand up,
this is too tough,
the waves are rough,
oh, i'm out of luck.
The long battles begin,
they travel deep within,
hurting so much,
God, this is tough.
I ask, Why me?
but no reply,
i really wish, i wasn't,
born to die...
is this the fate,
of all human kind?
born to die,
oh, what a rhyme.
© Erin H., Carrollton, TX
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This article has 6 comments.
Abi-street GOLD said...
on Nov. 21 2014 at 12:09 pm
thank you so much :)
ansem_unlimited PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 20 2014 at 11:37 am
though your ryhme schemes are fairly solid, there are alot of part where the phrasing doesn't really line up, like the line "I can't stand up" & "Oh, I'm out of luck" don't really match up as far as Syllables go making it a little less apealing to the ear, aside from that i'd put in a little more context, but you're on the right track!
authoress17 SILVER said...
on Nov. 17 2014 at 10:34 am
Wow, that was great. You left the reader with something to think about. I really enjoyed this poem. Keep on writing.
Abi-street GOLD said...
on Nov. 17 2014 at 6:54 am
thankyou :) and glad you liked it :)
Nightingale74 PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 16 2014 at 8:21 pm
Hmm...yes that is an interesting question...it gave your poem a nice finishing touch :) And it left the reader with a mind full of thoughts to sort through and relish. Outstanding work Abi! And I loved your rhyme! ;)
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