My feet are planted firmly but I can feel my world spinning wildly around me
Everyone’s telling me I did the right thing but I’m not sure I can even tell right from wrong anymore
I still can’t bring myself to listen to the songs that remind me of you, and the time that we spent
And I’m told that in a month or two that I will forget
And right now that is all that I wish I could do
Because everywhere I look, everywhere I listen there’s something to remind me of you
But most of all I feel like such a fool
I feel foolish because at sixteen I let you in so easily
I let you take my heart in your hands
I let you hold my face and kiss my hair like I meant something to you
Without a word I let your hands roam my body because it excited me
And without a single thought I let you take the most important thing a man could take from me
At just sixteen
And oh how I feel like a fool
These “I told you so” ‘s are dancing around in my brain, screaming and laughing as I sob and cry like a baby
As I’m clutching my sides at this all too familiar pain
And what hurts the very most is that there’s no one laughing in my face
There’s no one telling me how wrong I was
Except for me
I’m poisoning myself with this pain. Letting it choke me, letting it take me and I wish that I wouldn’t but it’s the only way that I know how to move on.
And everything feels like it’s just my fault
And I’ve never wanted to hurt myself so much
Never been so curious about what it would take to kill myself
And it scares me
Because even though my feet are still planted so firmly here, I feel everything spinning out of control all around me, and the only thing I see that can stop it is that deep dark abyss that has always held it’s hand out to me.