Slightly curly hair in innocent pigtails

A pretty if slightly vapid, silly smile

An expensive sweater, trendy glasses

This girl is just your average American teenager

But this girl

Was identifying the dead bodies of her

Friendships by the time she was ten

This girl

Watched her mother fall at eleven years old

and her father at twelve

This girl

Learned to deal with death at thirteen

And at sixteen had a personal funeral home

This girl

Cried in bathrooms at school and at home she

Scratched the skin of her shins off with fingernails

And pressed knife blades to her wrists at fourteen

Wondering how much pressure before the skin split

Fantasizing about putting a knife through

the skin

and bone

and flesh

Of her own chest

This girl starved to death at fifteen

Hated herself for every calorie

She walked the halls of her school

Wincing with the shame of (invisible) spitballs

Cringing under the humiliation of (silent) name-calling

This girl walked the halls of hell for years

And called herself every dirty name in the book

This girl wanted to die

For the blame and ridicule and pain that was

High school

But that's okay

Because she always knew behind those doors

Every day, always there for her, were

The bullies

This girl

Was raised by a man with father issues

A man who was abused by his parents and grandparents

A man who would never admit that even to himself

A man who takes care of the father who was never around

To take care of him

A man without regular human emotions

A man who does not feel the way you do

A man who has not spoken to his brother

In nigh on a decade, a man with more complications

Than one human brain can hold

A man with a higher IQ than any of you

This girl

Was raised by a woman who was sexually abused

By a brother she wanted to adore, by a brother

Who died because he lost the will to live

This girl was raised by a woman who walks this earth

Knowing

She will never come to terms with what he did to her

And yet she knows how to smile, how to sing

How to laugh, how to love

This girl is abused by her brother simply because

He does not love her

He stole from her and tricked her time and time again

This girl will spend her life proving she is good enough

Because once he told her she would never measure up

And this girl

Wakes up in the morning and smiles at the brick walls

She hugs and laughs and greets the day

You want to know how big her brave is?

Big enough to walk the halls of hell and smile at the devil

Big enough to go back every day

Big enough to never give up

Bigger than you will ever know but know this

For this girl

Every day is a battle

Every smile and handshake and hug and joke

Is a battle for this girl, and for many others

Some people look shy and cowardly but their brave

Is bigger

Than yours

Will ever be

They are fighting a war you don't get to hear about

They are charging a barricade you will never see

They are learning to live in ways you already know how

They are already down so don't kick them, for God's sake

Don't bully the girl who bullies herself

Don't bully the boy who looks just fine

Everyone is fighting a battle

And they don't have to tell you the score

Just please, learn from me,

And don't add to the war