when it came time for awards
the black rubber stage felt like hot asphalt under the lights
just sitting there was bizarre
I felt like I should be leaping and turning

I won first in my category
there was a real shot I could win the title too

I could feel everyone's expectations
after two years of winning
some hoped I'd fail
and some hoped I'd triumph

It’s title time
petite is announced
junior is announced
the judge hesitates
furrows his brow
“Miss Tween Power of Dance is being awarded to Tristan!”

I let out my breath

it’s not me

I failed

the bloody toes
sore muscles
calluses
and blisters
didn’t pay off

I walked off stage lead-footed
defeated

halfway out the door
“Can we have
Katie Koc-zach to the stage please?”
I think that’s me
I proceed to the stage with a little more pep in my step
not sure what to think

I’m greeted by a breathy
“I’m so glad you haven’t left yet!”
Wait, what? Why?
“Can I have everyone's attention please?”
“We awarded the tween title to the wrong person.”
“When we were calculating, we mistakenly thought Tristan was a female name.”
“So the MISS Tween Power of dance 2014 is Katie Koc-zach.”

I’ve been trained for this
stand in 5th position
stand up straight
tilt your head up
clasp your hands behind your back
smile

my mom wasn’t even there to see it
both her and my grandma were collecting my costumes

national champion
I had done it