I remember telling him all
my hopes
my goals
my wants 
my desires 
which was at the moment was completely and entirely 
him 

I was out of breath as I marveled deeply into his eyes right to left then right again
I remember having a smile on my face 
I said 'Say something!' eager to hear his reply 

but he shoook his head, patted my shoulder and said
'babygirl, you are such a dreamer' 

I will never forget how my throat rigorously burned with regret and hate 
and not even for him,
but for myself
and how my lips dried up almost instantly from the length of time my bottom lip had unlatched from the top 

his face became blurrier and blurrier 
my tears surrounded my pupils
and everything was suddenly dense and cloudy 
and what's worse is 
I remember exactly how many seconds it took for that first tear to trickle down my hot blood red cheeks, 
past my nose and onto my lips
It didn't taste like the tears I had cried when my pet fish died or when I had failed a class, it tasted like death
like brokeness
like acid 
like something foreign a sixteen year old girl should never have to taste

but what broke my heart is that 
he didn't even budge
not a single ounce of remorse anywhere on his face 

but 
I was not crying because he didn't kiss me right after like I expected
or because he didn't tell me his 

oh no, 
that boy had his wants and dreams and goals also
it's just that 
with those 6 little words
I knew
I wasn't going to be one of them