Relationship(s) series | Teen Ink

Relationship(s) series

September 15, 2014
By 5yydney GOLD, Moreland Hills, OH, Ohio
5yydney GOLD, Moreland Hills, OH, Ohio
11 articles 1 photo 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I told a stranger on the internet that i was lonely and nothing changed. I kissed a boy with pretty lips and I still felt that hole in my chest. I got drunk at 3 pm and cried so hard I thought I fell asleep in the ocean"


I gave myself to a boy once but when he was finished it wasnt me that I got back

You told me that you love too easily so you get hurt often and you're afraid of screwing up but if you looked at yourself through my eyes i don't think you'd worry as much

you compared me to a sunset from across the country and since you were there and i'm still here you never got to see how bright my flames stayed afterwards

I told you I was scared you'd find someone better because they always do and you wouldn't let me fall asleep until you convinced me otherwise.  You're the only one whos ever /tried to/ convince me

I told you everything I hated about myself and for each flay you gave me multiple reasons why i was wrong

I secretly love the hickeys you give me because it shows everyone that I am yours and reminds me that you were here

I wrote about you for a whole day once because my heart told me to and I was scared because its never spoken so loud before

I wonder if you've noticed how I bite my nails and fiddle with my necklace and rub my scars when you're around because you make me so nervous which ive always been taught is a good thing because someone once told me that if you don't get nervous anymore it means you do not care

when you look at me you make me feel so vulnerable but I can't help but stare back because I love it and how it makes me feel alive

tell me I'm here make me feel alive I'm floating up and up and up and away and space is swallowing me up and I need you to save me

you told me being so far away makes you feel lonely and I can't help but feel bad because I've done something wrong again

I remember on our first /real/ date you kept your arms around my waist and held me tight and at one point I laid my head on your shoulder because I wanted to show you I felt comfortable and happy and you told me I was incredibly cute

I know I'm not easy to talk to and I know I have too many feeling and I'm a little too quiet and laugh a little too much and I'm sorry if I make things hard but I really enjoy being with you and I'd really like it if you try to stick around with me a little while longer because I've never met anyone as lovely as you

Its 2:10am and I’m happy

when we talk you make me feel like my heart will burst and all of earth's butterflies are bouncing around inside me at lightening speed and you make my cheeks hurt from smiling even though you know I hate my smile and even if I'm feeling sad when I talk to you I can feel my shell crack off in small pieces and all my sunlight shines through and its all thanks to you

I remember when we met for the first time I thought you were sweet and friendly until your arm snaked its way across my shoulder five minutes into the movie and you kissed me full of venom and you sucked out all my air and left me lifeless and oh my god I hated you I hated you I hated you because you didn't even know me and oh God am I glad I lied because I don't even think you cared to know

please don't be mad at me you're giving me anxiety my stomachs in knots and I can't breathe and am I catching cold because I can't stop shaking I can't stop thinking my mind won't stop until I know you're not mad please don't be mad I don't want to feel anxious anymore

I'm sorry sometimes I get so quiet around you but its just when I'm with you all I want to do is stare and listen to your voice because I'm still trying to figure out if this is real or not but you take my breath away and you make my heart beat to a song I've never heard before and to me you're perfect which fascinates me and terrifies me at the same time but I'm sorry I don't know what I'm doing I think I'd just like to lay here with you and look back into your eyes while you look at me and trace circles on my thighs and arms with your sugar sweet fingertips wow you are so lovely yes this is where I want to be right now

you never realize how empty a bed can be until you've been given the opportunity to lay with someone you care about in the most innocent of ways with your head on his chest and his fingers dancing circles on your skin and your legs so tangled together you don't think you'll ever find a way to separate the two of you but at this exact moment you don't really mind because you could lay there forever and all your thoughts will be about him him him and his will be all about you

I don't think i tell you nearly enough how lovely I think you are but when I look at you my heart beats a million beats a second and you know that because you told me once when you were laying on my chest that my heart was beating faster than you've ever heard and I told you I was sorry but I neglected to say that it was because you make me so happy I feel like I might just explode

my heart broke because I realized you'd always love her more than you'll ever love me even though I'm the one who stays up with you at night when your thoughts won't let you sleep

and its boys like you with pretty lips and words like 'forever' who leave scars on young girls hearts without asking for permission and claim the minds of the weak its boys like you that take and take and take and only give when it benefits you you've taken my love you've taken my sanity and now you're gone because theres nothing left you're so greedy and I hate you but I love you and you're always in my head but you're in another girls bed

This was my favorite song and you stole it from me you stole the happy memories and replaced them with sadness because you played it for me on your guitar and now instead of thinking of how much i love this song i think of you and how i don’t have you anymore and you’re probably playing this song for another girl whos so much better than me why'd you have to steal my favorite song its the only one i had that didn’t make me think of you


The author's comments:

I tried to put myself in the mindset of different people in different relationships, this is just a compilation of all of those thoughts.  Only about one or two relate to a way I felt about a boy even though we weren't in a relationship.  This style of poetry is suppose to be like running sentences with very little punctuation. Inspired by tumblr.


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