Depression

Anissa Bredemeyer

Depression does not always mean

Beautiful girls slashing at the wrists,

A glorified, heroic battle for their sanity

Or mothers that never got the chance

To say good-bye.

Sometimes depression means

Not getting out of bed for three days

Because your feet refuse to believe

That they will not shatter upon impact with the floor.

Sometimes depression means

That summoning the willpower

To go downstairs and do the laundry

Is the most impressive thing you accomplish that week.

Sometimes depression means

Lying on the floor staring at the ceiling for hours

Because you cannot convince your body

That it is capable of movement.

Sometimes depression means

Not being able to write for weeks

Because the only words you have to offer the world

Are trapped and drowning

Somewhere in a void

And I swear to God,

I’m trying.

Sometimes depression means

That every single bone in your body aches,

But you have to keep going through the motions

Because you are not allowed to call in to work depressed.

Sometimes depression means

Ignoring every phone call for an entire month

Because yes, they have the right number

But you’re not the person they’re looking for,

Not anymore.