This poem is about something that has affected many people, a topic dark and unspoken, suicide. While I haven’t been closely affected by it, one of my relatives closest friends daughter committed suicide this past year. My goal when writing this poem was to capture the emotional turmoil the mother of the victim experienced. Disbelief. Emphasis on the smiles, the laughter, because naively she believed that meant her daughter was happy. It is all she could hold onto, her daughter gone. Insisting she was happy is her last resort, so when investigators and friends told her mother she was going through something terrible, she couldn't accept that.