I remember…

(Found in a locked chest by Alvin, a submarine that toured the Titanic).

I remember your eyes
They twinkled with a thousand stars
And your rosy pink body
And teeny-tiny toes

I remember your laugh
And how it made me smile
And your first word
“Mum”

I remember your first time on a bike
You returned home with scrapes and tears
The first time you went on a train
Just as excited as Christmas morning

I remember how much you liked crumpets
But not so much the tea
You’d dip your pastry into milk
And giggle at your long white mustache

Now I sit on your hard, lumpy cot
As the R.M.S. Titanic slowly tips starboard
With the rest of the family gone for help
I remember my life with you

But also I think of my regrets.
Had I only married a richer man
Maybe we wouldn't be in third class,
Or maybe if the coal miners hadn’t gone on strike
Then we would have never needed to transfer
To the Titanic

I remember them sounding the alarm
“There is danger” they cried
“We’ve hit an iceberg,
You’ve maybe an hour to get off this ship!”

I suddenly remembered how this was our dream
Your father and I
To get rich through the power system
Way up in New York

We saved up every last coin
Until we just barely had enough;
Daddy Frederick, Lillian, Charles, William, Jessie,
baby Sidney, you (Harold) and I

I remember grabbing you and running
With Sidney in my arms
But when we got to the gates,
They stood locked
Nobody would leave until first class was safe

Water was already rushing in
There was no time
Daddy grabbed my shoulders and said
“Augusta. Stay here with Harold and Sidney.
I will be back for you.
I love you”.

In shock
I remember slowly shuffling back with you and Sidney to the cabin
You looked at me with those big, confused eyes and said
“Mum. What’s wrong?”

I assured you everything was alright
I carefully placed sleeping Sidney in his cot
laid down beside you on yours
And kissed you goodnight

I sang you a lullaby
And the rocking of the ship lulled you to sleep
Tears welled in my eyes
Knowing you would never grow up to be the
Strong, handsome man I knew you would have been

Laying beside you now
Our breath mist in the frozen bunk
I slowly drift asleep
Dreaming about the American coast
Neither of us will ever see.

Signed: Mrs. Augusta Goodwin
April 15, 1912, 2:13 am