Where I’m from and who I am,
Those are polar opposites,
Yet intertwined, one and the same.
I am a product of my past.
I come from mismatched parents and yin yang brothers.
I come from silent dinners due to unsaid words.
Each room is our own world.
I come from friends who ran when the storm came.
I come from my darkest days.
It feels so good to release the suppressed,
And admit that I’m depressed.
I come from tears and unhealthy coping skills.
I’ve saved a life, seen them taken,
And fought for my own.
I am in love but they say I’m too young.
If that’s true then all of my other feelings must have been false too.
I was bent, but never broke.
I come from 1am milkshakes and 24 hour books.
I come from beach trips and late night dinners.
I come from fishing trips and seeing the world from my father’s shoulders.
I lost him shortly after.
He packed up and left slamming the screen.
I’ve blamed myself all these years, now I realize it was the beer.
Not his little daughter dear.
No man can hurt me more than he has.
In the midst of digesting the absence of my best friend,
I lost myself.
I seemingly have it together,
But I am riddled with anxiety.
Yet through the tears, shakes, and shallow breaths,
I am still the strongest person I know.
Each day I face my past.
Each day I realize, process, and grow.
It takes a special person to carry these things,
And that’s what keeps me going day by day.
I am caring, empathetic, and genuine,
Because those are things I’ve never had.
I am an old soul with new hopes.
Who I am and where I’m from are polar opposites.
But they intertwine to produce my stream of consciousness.