Remembering the past is a painful thing to do

Recognizing all that you have done wrong,

All that you could have done,

and all the things you would have done.


The events that transpired led to this future

A future that I created

A future that could have never existed.

If I only lived


A grade that was unworthy,

a grade frowned upon by many.

a chance to redeem myself came and past.

A prodigy’s fall came in the end.

A fall from greatness, an education destroyed


If only I tried

If only I lived


A kiss with an angel to be taken,

which I did not notice, with my preoccupied thoughts

pondering my inability to keep a job

If only I tried

With the moons passing, the angel flew away before she could return home.

Her shell remained an imprint in my mind.

The hole in her chest, delivered by a demon, now with a deeper pocket



If only I saw

If only I tried
If only I lived

WIth the alcohol fueling my thoughts
of the angel I lost, I sank deeper
If only I saw
The car strayed to the right.
The curb did not stop it, the
pedestrian did not stop it,
and the windshield did not stop me.
Maybe I wouldn't have driven
had I known what the drugs did
If only I tried


The white lights danced in my eyes

The thoughts and memories played like movies

The time I should have tried

The time I should have seen

The time I shouldn’t have fallen


In the end Life, with irony, showed me my mistake.

The past will be retold
it will never change,

the future is unknown
it is created by our actions,

and the present is forever
it is the instrument of our eternity.


If only I rose

If only I saw

If only I tried

If only I lived