I hope you never try to apologise to me
I will not accept a word from you until you have felt love
As beautiful and as destructive and as unadulterated as what I felt for you
And although I loved you more than I ever thought humanly possible
I ached more than I thought humanly possible too
And I hurt in ways that I still cannot fully comprehend, in ways that I never even knew existed
And I wept for you until it felt like I were about to dry up, like I were a wet rag wrung dry
And I screamed for you until I could taste blood in my throat and my voice was hoarse

I hope you never try to apologise to me
I will not accept a word from you until you have been changed by love in a way
That you cannot recgonise who you are any longer, until love has deformed you and disfigured you and you are left
Wondering who you were and what you looked like before you let it beat you black and blue
And I let that love throw me to the floor, powerless because I couldn't resist rhe way it looked and smelt like you
And how it would kiss me and hold me after, pressing a tissue to my bleeding nose and nursing my busted lip