When you are in love your mind gets clouded,
You begin to think all the wrong is right.
As the pain gets greater you get bitter,
Then you blame the world for what he has done.
Your purity and innocence is gone,
Forever stained by the strike of his palm.
Now you’re trapped in a world of misery,
There are no friends or family to save,
Or shelter you from his thunderous storm.
I’ll pray for you but I’ll also mourn.
Sofia’s Tale
The music flowed through my ears,
I remember that night like yesterday it was the root to all of my fears.
I moved my body effortlessly because I remembered all of the steps,
I felt so wild, my hair was all unkempt.
The lights in the dance studio were dim and dark,
Carlos scared me so badly when he burst through the doors and barked,
“Sofia! You cheating, lying w***e! You said you didn’t know him! You swore! You swore!”
I tried to tell him that I really didn’t know the guy,
Tried to calm him down with a sweet kiss and a pleasant hi.
But he was enraged by what he thought I had done,
He smiled wickedly and said let’s have some fun.
The first punch was to my face,
Then he yanked off the shorts that covered my sacred place.
I fought him off with everything I had,
But I was no match for Carlos when he was mad.
That night was the worst,
Carlos tossed me over his shoulder and took me home like he was an old lady and I was a measly purse.
He shoved me into the shower,
I stumbled to the ground as I lost all power.
I lay on the shower floor and watched the blood from my body seep down the drain, How could the man I love treat me so inhumane?
Carlos wasn’t always like this,
He used to love me and fill my heart with certain bliss.
I met him in a college level class,
Our eyes met as he strolled pass.
Just like the movie Enough,
I immediately fell in love with a man who was portrayed as “rough”.
I was the smart, shy girl, who loved school,
And Carlos was the street smart, drug dealing fool.
I knew he was no good but my twenty year old mind was clouded with love,
He treated me like a princess and created a bond I was glad to be a part of.
When Carlos proposed marriage, my family finally had enough of our strange relationship and disowned me,
God, I miss pa’s singing voice and sitting with ma drinking our afternoon tea.
As Carlos’ drug empire grew,
He seemed to have more steam he needed to blow through.
His occupation turned him violent,
He lashed out on anyone who was defiant.
Including me,
The beatings started when he wanted to go back to Columbia and I just had to disagree. I just couldn’t leave my family,
It would fill me with an unbearable agony.
But what Carlos wants, Carlos gets,
He beat me close to death and threatened to bury me alive in a pit.
So, you tell me what I should have done!
I had no family; I married a monster…as you see Carlos had already won.
As soon as I was healed,
We packed up and moved his empire back to the playing field.
And that’s why I never finished college,
Carlos moved me out of the country and into a villa that was huge, beautiful, and polished.
But it was never home,
I was isolated and never allowed to roam.
Carlos claimed it was for my safety,
But I missed the outside world greatly.
The only time I left the villa was to go to the dance studio or to buy books,
I never had to buy groceries thanks to the household cooks.
I sometimes sat in the window and wondered how I got myself into this mess,
I was married to a “successful” drug lord who hit me and forced me to undress.
My heart was filled with such sorrow,
I went to sleep every night dreading tomorrow.
I see the way you guys are looking at me,
You’re wondering why I didn’t run; why I didn’t flee.
But run and go where?
I know you guys remember what happened when Carlos thought I had a love affair.
But to finally be free, my life was something I was willing to risk,
I knew that if I was going to run, I had to be smart and also brisk.
And I actually was going to go,
The plan was to pack a small bag and lay at the bottom of the laundry bin that the maid had to tow.
But a week before the plan was to be put in action,
Something horribly beautiful had happened.
I found out that a part of Carlos was growing inside of me,
It was precious and, at two months, as small as a pea.
I was so focused on the plan that I didn’t notice how late I was,
I told Carlos and for the remaining six months the beatings stopped and it all was because,
Of my tiny baby boy,
Suddenly, Carlos was filled with such joy.
But I was no fool and I wouldn’t fall for the act,
I stayed on my toes, ready to attack.
I wouldn’t let him hurt my baby,
Even if I had to act the exact opposite of a lady.
But as the months passed, Carlos’s new behavior caused me to soften,
I had a few genuine laughs, every so often.
And eight months into my pregnancy, my water broke,
The picture was very graphic but Carlos didn’t choke.
He helped me through that painful night,
And three days later I went home with Miguel Sanchez held in my arms tight.
As you know, nothing lasts forever,
The sunshine was snatched away by gloomy weather.
Miguel was only three weeks old,
If we got caught, our story would never be told.
We left at night in the laundry bin,
The maid pushed us pass all of the security men.
I used cash to pay for our tickets and I was on the plane in a matter of minutes,
As it flew off, all of my fears slowly diminished.
And then we crashed,
Down the plane went, hitting the ground with a smash.
My little Miguel is dead,
I found him shortly after I met all the other survivors with blood flowing from his head.
So no,
My story does not have a happy ending but that’s the way some things have to go.
My name is Sofia and this is my tale,
Do not turn out like me; a love lost female.