If you consider closely, a smart man is an endless source of knowledge; a man of talent an endless source of expertise. Infinity is nothing to be ignored, nothing to be harnessed or restrained.

Someone once told me that being a musical performer would benefit the world more than being a musical teacher. A battle of two infinities. Performing versus teaching.

According to many mathematicians, one infinity cannot be greater than another. Yet in a different dimension, teaching seems to be a bridge from solitude to life, and performing a fall from life to solitude.

Someone once told me that being the world’s greatest musical performer would make me the greatest source of inspiration to an audience of like individuals. If this is true, then my guilt is all the worse.

I am proving. Defining. Living the end result.
Yet I am telling no one how to get to the island on which I solely stand.

I am encouraging others to paint a Da Vinci but not doing as little as giving them a paintbrush. I have created a paradise but have built no bridge to get there.
What act could be as evil?

I resent my future self and therefore am bitter towards the facilitators of this path.
A path on which only I can walk.
What seems like paradise is really a cave. And every second that goes by, I walk deeper and the darker it becomes. Perhaps it is also like a one-sided mirror. Everyone sees my walking into my cave but they see me and me alone. And in me they see light and inspiration.
I process differently.
As I walk farther into that cave of mirrors, I see my reflection. My reflections. Fractals of my own self stare at me from every direction. They know the deceit as well as I, and they judge with acrimony only to be understood by me.

But there is a decision that destroys the imminent cave and the imminent reflections: building the way to paradise and defeating the guilt of being alone on that island. Teaching others frees one from the grip of the lonely paradise.

Someone once told me that if teach I could never be as great as if I dedicated my life to performing.


But in reality, one infinity cannot be greater than another.