To find the one you are truly meant to be with is a curse. A curse I would take with open hands, and an open heart. In the moments that you first touch, you begin to feel awakening warmth, like you’ve been waiting years to pour life into your cold body. It becomes a raging heat that overwhelms your senses and you mind, it feels like too much, yet it’s a feeling you can never again live without.

To me, you are the sun, comforting warmth across my pale skin. It has been dark, and I crave your warm light. I am a little bird, happily singing to your morning glow. I leave you without words, as you carefully place your steps on this new path, ablaze with wonder. My lips are a spark, beginning to turn the gears of a lonely heart. With your hand grasped in mine, I pull you along the path, without so much as a backward glance. I am moving too quickly, yet do not fear of tripping on this road seldom traveled.

We are afraid, as the exhilaration urges us forward. I still squint to the sky, adjusting my pupils to new light, as you slowly begin to let me though your rusted iron gates. ‘I love you’ you say through rare tears as you hold my small hand in yours. ‘I love you.’ I reply as tears of joy sting at the corners of my eyes.

It’s the feeling you get mid jump into a cold river on a hot day, a rush of excitement, fear and wonder of what’s to come. I close my eyes as the cold-water rushes over us. Though your heart has come alive with the fires of passion, the cool water lapping at your chest cools your flesh. We smile in the light of day and we revel in the beauty of the moment. The sun is bright. My eyes burn from sunlight as I hear an old hinge from a harshly rusted gate, deep with in you, let out a painful cry.

We are terrified children who have lost their parents in a bustling crowd. I panic and cry out in fright as you silently harden your mind to hide your fear. I twist my body in a panic, as if I were a frightened animal, trapped in a harshly wired cage. Your flame is growing within your heart, it’s getting out of control.

The world begins to feel as if it’s begun to fade away in slow motion. Like the dripping water from a leaky tap, I begin to set fire to your nerves. The heat ablaze across your flesh is too much for you to bear. I pray my touch will be the cool river water to douse your flames. I twist and turn whom I am to try and be what you need. Like a small child trying to will the end to a vigorous storm, I blindly strain to do what simply can’t be done. I begin to loose the very essence of who I used to be. The fabric of my soul tares, as yours begins to melt beneath an angry fire.

Between two beating hearts I search for hope. There is little left now, destroyed by my contortions and singed by your sparks, yet there it lays, in my once again cold hands. Your warmth, only now hanging on to the ripped fabrics of my heart. Your soul is engulfed in an unbearable heat; you gasp the words ‘I love you’ with a heavy breath of smoke. ‘I love you.’ I whisper as my torn soul threatens to come apart in the slightest of winds.

I can only now see your faint trail of smoke, as I gather up tattered bits of my sorrowful self. A silence begins to fall over me, as the world begins to shout. The drips of water cease, though my heavy tears prevail. From where I am, in this lonely valley, I have no way to know if you gave up against the fire consuming your soul. ‘I love you.’ I imagine you say and the darkness threatens to leave me cold. I long to be your happy little bird. ‘I love you.’ I sigh as I begin to slowly stich myself back together.

To find the one you are truly meant to be with is a curse. A curse I have taken into my shaking hands and my pain filled heart. In the moments that we last touched, we felt a memory of the awakening warmth. I remember the heat comforting me in a cold body. It became a raging heat that overwhelmed us both, destroying the essence of ourselves; from the moment we held burning coals, unprepared for their potential. Though the sunlight is gone, I refuse the darkness. With that last shred of hope clung to my chest, I wait. A patchwork field of the past scarring my skin. I am no longer broken and torn, yet now I am empty.

I will wait for you. ‘I love you.’