i am so sick of death
claiming friends as if i had no right to exist

i had no right to love my friends
people i had worked so hard for -
to the bone for

why must, he with his cold wrinkled hands
take away saplings from this foggy crumbled earth

is the sky, sea and land too unbecoming for such divine souls?

death has touched me many times, a harbinger each time,
we both know it.

that clock and i, we both know it.

while all of my friends are ticking away,
i am here to remain in a grain of sand -
witnessing their epilogues and eulogies too.

i figured that i would go first in terrible unsightly ways maybe,
until the light vanished and the door of the afterlife was shut,
"no, you must bare this weight. you will learn in fleeting time."

i had been attending school since i was four years old,
death touching me even more than a dozen times in those years
so is death trying to tell me that no matter how many A's
and friends i receive, he will watch and he will be waiting.

waiting to hold me close and reassure me that it was finally my time.
(but we must remember, time does not exist, only clocks).