If i knew him,
I probably wouldn't be happy
right now, seeing he's not worth
my time, nor my love. But if I could
had had one chance to see him, one time, what would I say?
what would I do?

I never got to see him,
In pictures, yes.
His grey eyes reminded me
of charcoal pencils.
His smile, always hollow.
I don't think i would have loved
him, but maybe that is because
I never saw his eyes, or a
smile.

A part of me wants to know,
how our DNA intertwines, and connects.
I want to cut my wrists and read
the features that he has, that are now
embedded in my veins. Soaked in my
blood, I want to tear out my eyes,
and look at myself
see me, as he would.

I want to smile and taste
the coarse copper tongue he gave me,
cursed me with.
I want to know why, why was i not good enough?
Why did he leave me?

Why was I not the daughter
that every dad
dreams to hold, and yearns to
teach? And know
neither will he

With a father never known,
and a father never touched
I will set my insides on fire,
for fun, and watch every emotion
of mine, for him
seep from screams.
Because at least I know,
that none of that
is his.