Is this where I am stuck
while I attempt to fumble with the gas pump
and I’m in the middle of a drought,
yet inside me lies a sea of doubt.
The gas pump is slow-
this is all I’ve ever known;
the sun beats down on my skin
and all I can think of are all of my sins.
Why, why won’t the gas pump faster,
it’s slowed down every visit, and I bring with me, a disaster;
it chases me down the road
and I run, I run, until my pace has slowed.
I’m miles away from the gas station now, and
all I can think of is my long gone friend.
I ran and ran from the grave
trying not to be Grief’s slave,
but the disaster it finds me
and tries to make me see:
all of my sins,
the scar on her skin,
it haunts me at night.
But oh now the gas station is out of sight,
but only for a split second and then-
the car floods with gas and then
the sky becomes a flame
and I hear my name.
She’s calling, she’s calling
as she finds herself falling,
it’s all my fault.
And this happens when I’m running, but I come to a halt.
The tank has ruptured
and burns painted her
body like a canvas only,
she’s choking, she’s choking.
The fire has consumed my only friend,
and this is the end,
so I bury the remains,
and spend the rest of my days
waiting at the gas station for someone to repair my car,
but the gas station is so far,
and the car is gone
this is what happens, when things go wrong.