I’m tired of the hypocrisy
this is supposed to be a democracy
who am I supposed to believe
when I want to think for myself
but all these thoughts, facts, ideas and opinions, statements-words-letters-numbers
they are being shoved down my throat, shoved into my head
I cant think
i cant think
how can i think when this world is full of chaos
where nothing has meaning
and intelligence doesnt pay off
im trying to sort it out
trying to make sense of it all
but it wont make sense
it cant make sense
my o.c.d. is killing while my a.d.d. is entertaining me
keeping me from trying to sort out one thing at a time
one thing at a time
one thing
at
a time

im trying to fix it
im trying
im trying to do the best i can
but i cant
i cant
i cant stop
im falling back
im falling behind
im falling
and all the pressure is making me fall faster
faster
with no one to catch me
no one to catch me
no one
to catch
me


i cant focus
i try too hard
i over do things
i think too much
im not good enough
im capable
but incompetent
i dont know myself
i dont know anyone
i dont know anything anymore
the world is going so fast
and im trying to catch up
everyone is flying through life with a breeze
while im on foot, trying to keep up
trying to keep up
trying to
keep
up

I feel
i feel
i feel everything
i feel too much
i feel nothing
i dont know what to feel anymore
happiness is a tease
happiness
is a
tease
happiness
what is happiness?
what is wrong with me?
what isnt wrong with me?
why cant i be normal?
i try to make excuses
but do i have an excuse?
or am i at my own fault?
i want to ask for help
but my anxiety prevents me
my mouth is zipped close
i wont speak
i cant speak
i cant
i cant
Nothing makes sense
there is no rhythm or rhyme, rhyme or rhythm
what am i supposed to do?
tell me what i need to do
tell me
tell me
what
i need
to do

how did others get through this?
am i the only one like this?
i question everything
i question everyone
i think i finally know something
but then it changes
i change
I don't make sense
i can't make sense
i can’t
i can’t

My mind is full of nothing
the pointless trivia
useless knowledge
music full of nothing
lyrics full of nothing
full of nothing
full of
nothing
full
of
noth-
ing

i want to make sense
i want to make a difference
i want to be
something
i want to be
different
but i want to be
normal
normal
i dont even know
what normal
is
anymore
my thoughts get twisted up
i dont even know
what i want
anymore
i dont even know
what
to think
anymore
to think
think
i want to think
think of new things
think for myself
think of my accomplishments instead of my failures
but im not confident
im not confident
i dont trust myself
i dont trust
i cant trust
i cant
i cant
i want to be good
but what is good?
one person’s perception of ‘good’
could be wildly different than anothers
what do i do?
what can i do?
what can
i do?
My life is flying by
my time is running out
i dont want to disappoint
but that seems to be the only thing i can do
the only thing i can do
the only thing
i can do
is think