I portray a strong beautiful women
who is confidant of who she is.
Who doesn’t need anybody to make her happy
and I tell myself independence is the only thing I need to focus on.
But behind closed doors
I suffocate in the isolation I created to protect myself.
Cowardice consumes me
as I hide behind books and music.
I am indeterminately paranoid of making a fool at of myself
that I question my every word and action.
I refuse to look at the mirror too long
for I dread that I might see the petrified little girl that is inside me.
I don’t define myself as beautiful
only adequate within this world filled with true beauty.
Love is a dream that I have every night
only to desire that one day I will attain it.
And I am too afraid to open up to people,
will they understand the words that I am trying to get across?
I may be all those things but I hope that one day I won’t be afraid anymore
and I know writing this down is the first step to achieve my dream.