Crying over nothing again. Over what? The same drama, same pains. To cut all guys of my life would be a miracle and something I would never have the strength to do. So what can I do? Keep remembering the pains that burn inside of me, think of what could have been. There's no safety in letting me love. He said the same thing Eli did when he didn't want to talk to me but someone else. So pardon me if I'm finding it hard to take. Sorry if I'm crying a lot and can't understand. I know he really is having problems, but my heart was already broken when I was talking to him. So now I am scream broken and wounded, now it doesn't matter who else is next because there won't be another. I always had my heart on my sleeve, now its gone and I have nothing else to help me survive the worls that men took control of.

I'm stuck in the fog of what is left of my heart, I know its not fault. Its mine for hoping too much, for thinking he was different.

Its my fault.