so what do I do now
now that everything I ever cared about
my one happiness, is gone
I can't think
I can't breathe
I can't even see, my eyes are a blur
the world is foggy
covered in a misty haze of hurt
throbbing twisting pain
regret so intense that it pierces the soul
I don’t even care anymore
I don’t see a point in moving on
if I can't have you, then why bother
this isn't a silly game
its real life, a game tearing me apart
piece by devastated piece
there is barley any left to pull
it's almost gone, you have it
it's right there, on your floor
thrown carelessly down right there
don’t you see it
right next to that dirty lax pinnie and sweaty socks
can't you see it, just lying there
so empty, so lifeless
I want it back so bad
I want those hugs
where your strong arms would shield me
shield me from this world that wants to pull me down
down where I am now
where no light shines, where no glimmer of hope reaches
I want to wake up again
to see your glissening eyes
eyes that could make a girl mad
I miss the way you smiled when you saw me
the way the edges of your mouth would curl upward
ever so slowly
I miss the way you threw your head back whenever I told a joke
and you'd laugh and look at me
with those big brown eyes and just shake your head
because I was that silly girl you loved
that silly girl with long brown hair
the silly girl with hopes of her future consisting of you
consisting of long nights with movies
and cuddling until the endless hours of the night
until the darkness wrapped us in its soothing blanket and took us away
I was that silly girl that believed in love
but I found out the worst
that I could lose your comforting hugs
that I wouldn’t see the ends of your mouth curl
and your head would stay still when I told a joke
those brown eyes were not glimmering anymore
I lost a part of me I loved the most
I lost my rock, the rock I sought for protection
was I not good enough for you
why is my heart not a heart anymore
but merely a shattered mirror
reflecting all the broken times we have had
why did you do this to me
play games with my heart
I'm suffocating and gasping
please let me breath
please let me go on
why do our memories wrap so tightly around my neck
you don’t have to feel this way
why out of everyone
why you
why did you have to be the one to hurt me
my life is in a standstill
and you hold the remote
but the play button is erased
you have me tight
in your grasp
refusing to let me live