The people around me often talked about a beautiful world called "Happiness."
They said it was a place where not alot of people could reach.
I wanted to go there.

I slowly made my way towards that world, step by step, eager to join eveyone that's there.
But when I thought I arrived, I realized in ahead of me there was a brick wall.
The wall was extremely tall.
So tall that I never even thought of going over it.
I thought of just simply knocking this wall down.

I tried really hard to break this wall,
Day and night,
For almost as long I could remember.
I thought to myself,
"Why is this so difficult?",
"Should I just give up?",
"Would I even be 'happy' when I'm there?"
These questions, I repeated in my head over and over again.

Soon, I forgot the reason why I wanted to get through the wall.
I just kept hitting the wall.
The motion repeated itself.
Again and again.

Until one day... I made a hole in what I thought as impenetrable.
I peaked through the wall to see a shiny world.
A world that is bright and warm.
I couldn't stop looking at this world where everyone looked like they were having fun.
The countless smiles that I see on everyone's face ,
The sound of laughter came from every direction,
Made me remember why I was here.

I am here to find happiness.
A warmth that I never felt before.
For the first time, I backed up to look at the hole I made.
It was a small, undefined hole.
But still, the hole I made with my own effort.
The hole that is my only access to this "happiness."

But...
I don't know what happiness is,
How great,
Or warm
Or bright it is,
I'm not sure if I want to continue this fight through the wall.
I will stop.
I will definitely stop.

But not right now.
Not today.
Not when I could still peer through the hole.
Not when I have a reason for me to be here.
Not when I want that "happiness" in my hand.