My heart palpitated as my feet stepped solidly on the ground,
Not wanting to go a step further
My hands trembled as thoughts ran through my mind,
“No one likes me.”
My body was anxiety ridden;
Every last inch

Nothing felt right when I was this quiet
But I couldn't help but not to talk
My voice shakes, I’m light headed,
I’m scared.
I only wish that the words that came out won’t be a mistake


I stutter my way through the day,
Avoiding everyone,
Even friends
Sometimes wishing it would be easier if I were deaf;
Or maybe not here at all
The idea races through my mind
Then I wouldn’t have to be the outcast; not wanted, needed
But I suffer through the day telling myself I can make it
Can I?

I’m close to the edge
It’s hard to struggle through the days
I’ve quarantined myself,
Blocked myself off from everyone
I’ve built up walls
No one will climb the walls;
Break them down

I’m a disease;
Poisonous;
Deadly
Who would want to be close to someone like that?
No one
”I’m fine,” I told everyone
“Just tired.”
No one second guesses the smile slapped on my face



No one likes someone who doesn’t speak her words,
Doesn’t voice what she thinks
But the writing calls to me; it’s a way to release
So I write my words, ignore people
“It’s better this way.” I tell myself over and over

I was the happiest with my best friend;
Never feeling terrible with her
But the hurt slipped out to her
Her reaction sliced me up like cuts

I knew she was disappointed
Her look struck a sting;
A bullet filled with hurt pierced through me
I promised her I would try to be better
Talk to people, be nice to myself, get out of my shell
I promise I’m trying to keep my promise

I moved
New school, new people, new me
I changed for the better
I talked to people; I did get out of my shell
I have friends;
Good friends
I felt “brighter”

I still have my days,
I’m not perfect
But I’m trying
Trying my absolute hardest
I swear

My heart doesn’t palpitate when my feet hit the ground
I’m trying to stand strong
My hands don’t tremble as good thoughts run through my mind
“I can do this.”
I’m not quiet anymore
I talk to everyone
And guess what?

My words are not a mistake.