Known as a six-year old little girl named Beatrice,
Looking like I came fallen into a bird nest.
My mommy comes and goes in and out of my life.
Does my mommy realize I need her to bring me closer to her, and do what’s right? Yes.
Does she know how her lost child feels without her? No.
Here waiting in a nest up high in a tree,
In a risk of being taken away from her.
Mommy sometimes decides not to return home at night time
And sometimes takes me to a dangerous place,
To an unknown place, where a creature lives,
A creature she’s madly in love with.
I feel unprotected in his territory.
The creature’s like a crow with no prosperity.
I emerge like an unhatched egg facing a destiny.
My mommy carries a baby in her tummy,
I treat her differently and she acts moody.
This wasn’t suppose to happen so soon.
Mommy don’t realize she’s risking her life of losing me .
Mommy pays more attention to her lover,
Than her lost little child who cannot detect her whole life story until the age of ten.
What makes more sense to me is that she chose her lover over me.
I seek attention, I cry desperately for affection.
All I want from mommy is a tight hug and an “ I love you, my little princess.”
Guess all her love was more focused on a crow,
A crow who lead my mommy into a dark path, she willingly risked to follow up…
As I hatched into an uncontrollable child, mommy gave me no structure to shape my behavior and problems.
Mommy thinks I’m hard to handle, too much of an upbeat child.
I don’t respect my mother, I hardly even respect my elders.
No one taught me how to show respect or obey the rules.
Don’t blame me, I didn’t raise myself.
Known as “A Lost Child” wondering and weeping for help.
Known to be vulnerable, invisible, lonely and overwhelmed.
I cannot think or express how I feel or how I deal with someone giving up on me.
I only choose to dwell in happiness.
I live my life in place as a child, I must not worry .
Changes must concur for the better.
Even if that means I will conceive in going through the worst.
My mommy made mistakes, and was tempted of breaking the rules but I forgive her.
I wonder what mommy thinks, and feels about life now that I’m gone.
Did she learn anything new from losing me, again?
Is she still remaining strong?
She is young, a twenty-three year old women who gave birth to me at sixteen years old.
Bringing me into this world greatly challenged her.
She kept having trouble raising me but still tried to conquer.
She also had trouble with her past relationships and experiences.
Everytime I look into my mother’s eyes I see sadness and dead silence.
I stay up looking at the ceiling, wishing on glowing stars to shine with faith healing.
Wishing I can be raised like a normal child who can count on mom without her leaving me down over and over again.
I look hopeless waiting here in the wild, alone where beasts act defiant.
Where the roaring lions play, hunt and express violence.
Know as “A Lost Child”, having no idea where I belong or where my life went wrong.
I want to sing, dance, and play all along but some pieces of my heart are missing.
The missing pieces of my heart is my family.
My family is what makes me shine like diamond rings.
Seeing them brings a big smile to my face.
The closest one to me is my aunt, Jessica.
Jessica and I grew up together like sisters, together we embrace.
We went through growing up with a family destructed from drugs and addiction,
To being displaced to a foster home with a stranger.
I lived uncomfortable, and unstable.
All I thought about was my mom when I got into trouble.
I cried every night to my aunt in my room who slept in the same bedroom.
I stood afraid to sleep alone in the dark and afar from my aunt.
I moved my bed closer to hers so she can hold me tight.
She would read me stories, and sing me lullabies.
Her voice brought rejoice.
Her eyes were deep like the sea.
I felt secure in her arms, she was like my mommy.
We played like best friends, we struck in madness and sadness,
But Jessica shows love to me, and I will always love her back no matter where she’s at.
She was like my guardian angel, who found me when I was lost in my own doubts.
Now that Jessica’s no longer around I stay wandering like “A Lost Child.”
When I left my family I realized Jessica and I were not together anymore.
I moved to a countryside in a full house of other children like me.
In my head, I was happy but then I dream of Jessica and I wake up crying.
No one knows how really lost I am.