Dear Heart,
Why do you keep breaking? Why are you, I, and We in pain? Is it mental of physical? I cannot tell…yes Dear Heart you keep me alive, but why must you cry? Why endure this pain of fear and miss? Why are we so helpless? You know my feelings, my thoughts, and my fears, you help me cope with life in hard times, You are an amazing part of me, you can make me cry, you can make me laugh, you can make me forget everything if I ask. You know my every weakness and that they are trying to build me up just to break me down. But you won’t let me die.
You tell me everyone has bad days and everyone has good days but no one has perfect days and I believe you. You can tell me not to let fake love fool us for we are very fragile. You hear me say “Love no one, hate no one, love nothing, hurt on the inside, smile on the outside, die mentally, like physically, feel nothing, hurt no one.” You say my wish is your command, but you give me this advice.
Yeah, we messed up yesterday and all the other days before that but today’s a new day, its time to forget our past and move onto the future we can live a better life just forget the past and give the future a blast…you might die at any moment…just make a new start with me-your heart-and…we can be happy once again.
I think about this advice for a while and in those minutes you read through my secret pain. You know I’m shaking, my breath is taken, and I feel you breaking once again. You know my eyes burn with years you know the pain I have stored all these years, you know of every laugh, smile, frown, and tear.
You know I am dead on the inside and alive on the outside, they look at me and can’t see the pain flowing through me, I look at my blood and hear the demons screaming, the yell, they go on a rampage, they even try to kill us, but we know this is only the beginning that we shall deal with this pain every day, I hope the rest of the world will always be alive on the inside and on the outside. We hope the demons only attack us.
You make me dream of good things except reality…the loving arms of a baby wrapped around his mommas’ waist like the sparkles of a fairy tail princess…
You remind me not to fall in love for if it is-like so many times before-dead lies of love we wouldn’t for it could kill even the truest of doves.
You listen to my every thought and what you hear now is:

Every day I see another part of life go by,

Every minute I hear another tear fall soft and clear,

Every hour I sit in my room thinking I would rather die,

Every thought is left in darkness waiting for the light to bring me bliss.

You tell me I should fight for my life but not physically with a knife, mentally with our soul, you tell me to fight only when I’m right and back away when it is they, you tell me my hope is not yet gone but has just begun.
You tell me to give into laughing but leave all my scars of pain marked on you in the past, you tell me to fight for I am still sane.
You know when I cry until I can’t anymore and you help me through the touch times. I know I can always trust you because you are, after all, my heart. There are times when I don’t want to trust you but I do.
You know of my loss of sleep and lack of eating. You know you will probably be broken a thousand times more, but you still let me live and breathe, talk and listen, cry and wonder. Why…
You know me inside but I know me outside. You tell me to stay calm, that I do not have a bomb. You reach for my hand when I am on the stand. You mentally hold me close when I need your help the most. You watch me drop my knife even though I hate my life. You hold me up off the ground you spin my life upside down. You take me to the floor and you open up my hearts door.
You know what I’m thinking and how I feel you read my mind you scream to me you also know the pain I see...
He stabbed her in the heart
He tore her apart
He used a knife she gave him her life
She has cried for him
She just died for him
Her blood is everywhere
Running down the table into his chair
He feels her lifeless pulse
He tries to pull her close
Her body falls to the ground
He hears her voice
Her only sound
He looked at her one last time
He seen her angel
Leaving the scene of his crime
He drags her body to the lake
She died for his sake
He seen the tears the stained her cheeks
He pulls he close and kisses her scar
He wonders how it ever got this far
I look up at the sky. You know when I cry... but I will not cry now
For I know I got you and he was a killer... he broke you now you need fixed
I will find help soon. While you cry I fake a smile for a little while
You will run into love again but I do not know when
We run to the east he runs to the west, for thins we are thankful
You hold me in place even when you are in peaces
You drive the pain away
You don’t let me cry
You keep me alive
I walk into the world that is all around me
I look into you, my heart, and you know everything I see
You carry me away to a new life by the sea
You let me wonder and cry when that is what I need

You watch my family walk in circles around me
You watch the pain and in my eyes you see
There are times you will let me strong and not cry
You let me wonder by and by
I called on my life to keep me free
But it is the pain, only you will see

I came into this world with you whole
Now you are in pieces when I walk into school
You see all the faces
You know all the phases
They can’t see the pain
That is too our gain
You crumble when we leave
This they do not see
You cry when it’s allowed
Though you don’t know when or how.

He touches you
You feel the electricity
He feels it too
You get away as quick as possible
He watches you walk away
You leave the room
He follows you
You run faster
He will not be your master!
Now, dear Heart, you are beating so very fast... For we have felt this feeling before..
It keeps coming back but we don’t want it from him
He will make us cry again, can’t he just walk away?
We don’t want to feel this ruthless pain today.
He walks toward me?
I scream!

I look up at the sky
Thank you lord for not saying goodbye
You help me through life
You know my pain, my strife
You watch me fight
You help me through this flight
I’m here for another day
You are here all the way
I run to you
My Lord you are true

I am stupid in love
But I thought it was from above
I never think about anything but him
There is no end
I run far away
I still see you everyday
I cry out
There is no doubt
I might die
But I will not cry
Walk away from me
Or its pain you will see
I’m shaking now
Though I don’t know how
I’m playing the game
Just don’t say my name

My heart you help me
The demands might come back and kill me
I run, you cry for help
The cant hear us
The demands were sent to kill us and they might win
They will find us now, though we won’t know when or how
I run I run
You cry you cry
I look into you and memories of love come out
I hear you shoot
You tell me not to believe in for it will kill… kill?
I wonder why would it kill?
You say he can hurt me… hurt as in pain? Physical? Mental?
What I do not get is how can he hurt me?
You say he has no heart
We remember how he tore you apart
You know he will break us again
We know all he is, is sin
You know he can and will try to kill me
It is for your safety you want me to seek
You say we can do well if we try
I slowly watch the day go bye
I climb into my bed tonight
And wrap the covers around me tight

As I dream you sort things out
You get read of all my doubt
I sleep in peace
The pain you release
We walk into a world unknown
From reality we are thrown
I become happy for now
When I wake up I will wonder how
I run a distance to live this life
You run the distance from the knife
I don’t want to wake from this dream
I wonder how crazy this could seem
I roll around, I toss and turn
I wouldn’t notice if they left me to burn
I run around with no pain
That a way he will have no gain
We run from this life and the world around
No wonder we hear no painful sound
I see no pain and feel no hurt
While reality to he is buried
in the dirt
I sing a sightful song of joy
While my friends live a life of annoy
I run from hurt and depression
I escaped from all this aggression
No one can haunt me in this place
For I will see no certain face
I feel the faith and trust
And I know that my heart may adjust
I work hard all day long
For I know I can be strong
We run from others all around
We forget them in this secret town
We look at the cross on my neck
While i sleep upon this deck
We seek out all the hopes to see
No one knows its killing me.
We run to the nearist help we can find
For we will leave the past behind

I am running
For people we are shuning
I look up
I look down
I see the sky
I see the ground
I walk strait
I close my hearts gate
I run away
You follow everyday
I look into your fate
I see your hate
I walk home
You run to rome

My dear Heart will you help me say goodbye? I can I cry? Why should I die?
We run from everyone but we will never get out of this zone
I start to fly
You come nearbye
Is it that they need love?
I see not true dove
Why do they come back?
Is their heart that black
The need to go away
I will cry anyway
I look at the ceiling
I look down and hes nealing

This time is different
I am tired
He is a component
I walk away
I cry
I fell today
I seen what’s in his heart
I die
Now we must part
I run to town
You come
You run around
I fall away
You make me cry everyday
I look up at the sky
As I wave goodbye

I see the world
My heart is twirled
I cry and cry
I just might die
I look into the lord
I am walking on his board
My heart reaches out to the sun
I remember this walk has just begun.
Love,
Amelia