inspired by Van Gogh’s painting
Paysage avec une Maison et un Laboureur



I used to live in a big city.
I used to live in a big home with her.
She was the love of my life.
She made me enjoy life.
I would smile for no apparent reason, other than the fact I knew I would come home to her.
I was a very important man in the business world.
I worked all day, everyday.
I would run home as fast as I could each day, just to see her.
And then one day, I got there and she was gone.
I looked everywhere. I asked everyone.
She was nowhere to be found.
All I had left was a little note saying “I can’t do this to you anymore.”
I read that note everyday, thousands of times each day.
I couldn’t understand no matter how hard I tried to.
I stayed in that big home for a few weeks.
It never used to feel very big because it was always overflowing with love.
After she left it felt like a stone cold castle.
Everywhere I looked I saw her.
Anything I touched in my own home felt colder than ice.
No matter how hard I tried to fill the space she left, it still felt haunted.
Every man I saw made me wonder, “Did she leave me to be with him?”
I had to get away.
I couldn’t deal with my overwhelming heartache.
I had never felt a pain like the one I felt when I woke up without her.
I am still trying to learn how to bear the pain, as I feel it more and more with each passing day.

So, I sold it all.
I sold everything she left behind. I sold everything I owned.
I got rid of anything that reminded me of her.
I bought a beautiful farm in the middle of nowhere.
I built my little home with my own two hands.
I never used to have any interest whatsoever in plants and farming,
but when she left I had to pour my love into something.
You see, when she and I were together,
we were always growing and cultivating our love for each other and our relationship.
Now, all I have are my plants.
The more I care and love them, the more they grow.
At first, when she left me, I felt like there was no reason to go on living, but now if I leave and abandon my plants, they will die. They are depending on me.
So, I never leave my farm. I have no reason to, anyway.
Even though it was decades ago that she left me, when I was still just a young man, I am still heartbroken.
I am still trying to learn to love again. I am still practicing on my plants.
I am not sure I will ever be able to speak to anyone again because it will hurt too much,
so alone on the farm I shall stay.