The Blade is so shiny.

It calls my name

and longs to be used.

It tells my that my flesh

is so beautiful.

It just wants

to feel.



i pick it up

and let It kiss my wrist.

It opens me up.



The warm blood

feels so good

running down my arm.



It compliments me

and drowns out

the ridicule

and shame

my peers give me.



It says that

i am beautiful

this way.



i let It

kiss me again.

It feels so good

going into me.

i let It kiss me

and It takes advantage of me



i tell it to stop

but in reality

i don't want It to.



i put It down

and look at the damage

I did.



It says that i'm beautiful

but i look at what i did.

It lied to me.



i wash away the blood

but the cuts stay.



The shame stays.



i let the shame scab

and then scar.



A permanent reminder

of what i did.



i let It kiss me again.

It makes me feel

too damn good

inside.



Inside.



That's where It goes.

It goes inside me.



It says sweet nothings

but It reminds me

that I'm ugly.

that I'm ashamed.

that I'm ridiculed.

that I'm useless.

that I'm being used

by It.

because

It

is being used by

Me.