this morning when i awoke
i immediately poured myself a glass of coke
hoping it would get rid of the aftertaste
of last night’s vodka and your lips

most people wouldn’t want to forget
a night like ours
for it makes a good story
or in my case, poem
about why i have to forget

the way you made me smile
for four hours straight
i couldn’t help but sigh those three words
into your open mouth
those three words that
you’ve never said back to me

you kept pushing the bottle to my lips
wanting to make my first tastes
of this bitter liquor
something i’d always remember

as your mouth grazed against my neck
for the eleventh time that night
i wondered how i’d feel today
waking up to all those little reminders
of how much you can’t love me

or perhaps my memories are lying to me again
and i didn’t really have to worry
about anything but the sand in my hair
and that cheap piece of rubber breaking
at least until there were flashing lights
dancing in front of my eyes

that man had a deep voice, but a soft tone
and he asked to see your license
with a youthful face
that few policemen seem to have

i bet he’s got a little girl at home
and he takes care of her
like no man ever took care of me

he let you leave me
just like so many others before you have
and then we sat in his car
listening to awful music
until my fake father showed up
to remind me how much of a disappointment i am

i ended up falling asleep last night
crying into the sleeves of your jacket
because i really wish
that i could be the one to hang up the phone
like you just did

but i can’t
because i’m in love with the way
your eyes shine like the stars
and the way
mine are always dry
when i’m with you

if only they stayed that way
when i think of you.

(s.b)