Sometimes I feel out of control.
My hands shake,
my mind races.
I think of you and it helps a little.
But later I feel drugged.
It's like constant misery.
Cant help but to cry.
To hold it in.
Not to try.
I cant wait to get out.
Break out.
Out of reach of scandalizing eyes,
where,
as of now,
I'm stuck.
Can't escape from them.
Hollowness.
It swallows me.
The eyes of the soulless.
Judgemental.
Can't be who I am or who I want to be.
Surrounded by stereotypes that don't make sense.
And they know it.
That's what kills me.
They know it.
Can't run with nowhere to go.
They know it.
Can't hide.
I'm not a coward.
I refuse to back down.
But I do it anyway.
What else can I do?
I refuse to lose.
But I do anyway.
I can't win.
It's always been that way.
I need to get my sense back.
Gonna fall if I don't.
And I don't want to.
But I do anyway.