Have you ever wondered what went wrong in the times that have passed?
Have you ever wondered why I don't smile when I see your face?
Have you ever wondered why I won't come home anymore?

Do you remember all the words you said to me?
How bad of a person I was when I didn't commit to your every need?
I said no because I felt that you used me to your advantage.
When you asked for something, I gave it to you.
But once I stopped, you went your own way and stabbed me in the back.

Do you know how many stab wounds I have taken?
And how long I went about without a single cry?
How much of a burden of being the worst sister in the history has taken its toll on me...

You blame me for many things that are wrong in your life.
You know how much it hurts to know that my existence has damaged you?
How can you blame someone that didn't mean to cause such harm?
How am I supposed to control my existence?

Sometimes,
I can feel like you wished I was never born.
Maybe if I didn't come to be,
You could've been the oldest
You should've been in mom and dad's spotlight.
You wouldn't have to be that middle child.

I kicked you out of my life so many times,
I hoped it would get better.
You could go on without being in my shadow
And I can go on without being bullied.

Just this once, I went on without caring or thinking about you.
I've done things without telling you.
I've done good and bad things and I was actually enjoying life.
I thought I could've done this for a long time.
But there was always that person I wanted to share my stories with.
Just that one person who would enjoy to hear my times of being happy.
It was you.
It hurts to know that the only person I would go to is out of my life.

I cast you away so I can grow up to be the person that wasn't your lies.
My life could've been a whole lot better but I decided to bring you back.
So far,
I'm still debating if this is the right thing to do
Or if it's just another mistake waiting for me

Just know that I'm not telling everything
I'll tell you what I want you to know
But I won't say anything that would make you hurt me again.

But I should thank you
Because you've broken me down
Why?
Because I built myself to be stronger.
It made me into a more bitter person but now I know how to survive in the world.
No matter how close I am to people
They'll one day burn me.

But we don't always get what we want in life.
We just have to go with what we've been given and make the best of it.