i never realized how i felt before. i thought i did. i never thought about it this way before though. the wrong way. i never should have said it. i should have made something up like you didn't get me pie or something like that. i just dumped everything on my mom, i just blamed everything on her. i don't want to see her now because i never should have said that. i never should have even thought it. i feel awful. i don't even want to think about how she feels right now. i wish i never said that, it was bad samie, and now bad and good samie feel horrible. i will never be able to take that back, ever. i can't believe i sunk that low. i can't believe i am that low. i've never realized how horrible i am. and now i know, but knowing doesn't change the fact that i just broke my moms heart even more than i did before