i seem to remember
when I was young
reading of true love and fairytales
happy endings
but now as i grow older
i realize
that i have been hoping
waiting
for my fairytale to happen
for my dreams to come true
and as my best friends
became girlfriends
and my brother
became a boyfriend
i noticed
that i remained the same
i wondered to myself
if something was wrong
i had brown hair
brown eyes
i was tall
smart
i didn't see anything
that might set me apart
but i never got to know
what others thought
because no one came near
to see if there was more to me
than big words
and an expectant face
the years passed
i grew
i learned
i understood
that no one was volunteering
was it such a bad thing, then
to be a martyr for a good cause
because, of course,
that is what you would have to be
in order to love me
a martyr
a saint
no one else would possibly dare
to rescue the maiden from the tower
in which she believed
she was stuck
too much danger
not worth the prize
that is what you said
when i came up in conversation
as if you didn't know
that my tower was right behind you
and was slowly growing higher
with every word you spoke
am i really so unacceptable
that you run when you see me coming
and smirk to your friends
about the girl
who has
never
been
loved?
i look back to those tales sometimes
of bravery and knights
in shining silver armor
but now i can see
that my prince won't be riding toward me
on a majestic white steed
but rather
riding away
with not so much as a glance
to the tower he left behind
that upon arrival he decided
wasn't worth the climb
and i'll watch
as the walls grow higher
and i'll watch
as the stones grow thicker
and i'll watch
as the mortar grows stronger
because what else is there to do
when you're trapped inside a fortress
that you know can't be escaped
because you know
it doesn't matter
how much you love yourself
and it doesn't matter how much
you love someone else
because in the end
it comes down to how much
someone loves you
and if it's enough
to break down the walls
smash through the window
and save the princess
who's been waiting her whole life
for someone to care enough
to stand at her side
and tell her
that she's worth it
.